Unimaginable

Last week my nephew Ethan's leg was broken at daycare.

This was the same daycare that I got Jonathan kicked out of by yelling at the incompetent teachers that were not doing their jobs and were letting my son and nephews keep getting bitten, fall, hit, climb, etc. Everyday one of them would come home injured or we were hearing about another kid being hurt. Or escaping the classroom without them even noticing they were gone. One day J had made it to the front door and was waiting there for Heather when she was walking out with her kids. If it hadn't of been her or if she had decided to just take him with her they wouldn't have even known he was gone.

Anyhow the point is that after this happened I wanted to go back up there and give them a reason to be scared of me for real. I mean that was their reasoning for me not being allowed to come back... I made them feel unsafe. Well I didn't give a crap about THEIR safety I care about the kids! Not just my kid or my nephews but all of them! Jonathan had been there since he was 4 months old! I would go up there and hang out in his classroom and play with the kids and get to know them. They were his friends. I watched them grow with him. Yet these new teachers come in and don't care enough to pay attention to the kids to make sure they didn't get hurt and forget them interacting with them! In 6 months Jonathan came home with TWO color papers with a few scribbles on them, and if you know my son he LOVES to color! He would have marked all over that paper if it had been in front of him for any longer than 2 minutes. Yes, I complained about it to not only the Assistant Director but the Director as well. I complained about the injuries, I complained that the kids were just running around doing whatever all day, I complained that my smart baby who used to "practice" his flash cards with me no longer wanted to, I complained that his language was reverting to that of a normal 1 year old when he has always been such an advanced speaker. Nothing was done about it and until I snapped I was reluctant to move him because that was where all of his friends were, that was where his cousins now were, that was where his second family was. But I knew that I had to take him somewhere else, not only because they wouldn't let me bring him back because of my outbursts but because I was afraid that the next time something happened I would do more than just yell.

Which brings me to the point. I have been SO angry since Ethan's leg was broken last week and they gave not one, not two but THREE different stories about what had happened. They waited 3 HOURS letting him scream before calling Heather back to have her come get him instead of just calling her like she said if he kept acting like he was hurt. (this is when they thought it was just his foot hurting) Anyhow back to the point. I have been praying and thinking and praying and praying some more about how to handle my anger. I am known as a hothead. I am a lot better than I was as a child and a teenager. I have only been in a handful of physical altercations as an adult and none of them were very serious. I have prayed for God to help me to control my anger and He has been faithful. I don't always control it the way I know I should but I am getting better. But this past week I have been praying double time because I can't understand why anyone who knows that they don't want to be working with kids and that knows that they don't want to even pay attention or interact with them. I left working at the children's shelter when I felt like I stopped being there for the kids and was only there for the check and benefits. I did that even though I LOVED MY JOB because I knew that those kids deserved better and I couldn't live with myself if I started ACTING like I was just there for a paycheck. I am trying not to be judgmental. I am trying hard. I simply don't understand how this could happen to MY nephew. I told them when J left that if they didn't change something someone was going to actually end up seriously hurt. I didn't think that it would happen to MY nephew! My mom tried and tried to get me to file a complaint with DHS on them but I just didn't want the drama. Now I wish I would have. Maybe my nephew would not be in a full body cast if I had. I didn't want a so-called friend of mine that works there to get into any trouble for it because she had already gotten into trouble for me yelling at the workers that were in Jonathan, Ethan, and Rylan's class. So I continue to pray. For peace, understanding and a forgiving heart and most of all for those workers who let this happen. I pray for God to help those workers do His will, for Him to shine His light on Ethan and help him to heal quickly, to comfort Heather and my brother and give them patience to deal with Ethan when he is cranky and in pain. I pray for my nephews and foster nieces to understand the situation and to not feel like Ethan is getting all of the attention. I pray that something will be done to protect all of the other children still at that daycare and keep them safe. After all that praying this week even though I am still stressed,worried,scared and upset about the whole situation and wishing I could fix it I have given it to God and know that His Will will be done. And now after all of that is off my chest and here for you all to read I ask that you pray for my family and this whole situation including and especially the workers that let this happen because I truly believe they need the prayers the most.