Just for today

"Just for today, no matter where I am going, or what I am doing, or who I am doing it with, it is my intention to focus on the positive."


Its hard to be a mom. I feel its even harder to be a single mom when you don't get breaks. Not even to use the restroom. When things in life go bad as a person with Generalized Anxiety Disorder it is hard for me to handle. As a mom I know I need to put my child first. As a mom I know I shouldn't take out my frustrations on my son. Normally I do very well at this but the last few weeks have worn me down and tonight I found myself raising my voice to Jonathan. I don't do this often. I feel like I can get better results by just talking to him or doing timeouts or redirecting him to do something other than what he is doing wrong. Lately though, I find myself snapping at J swatting his bottom for stuff that really isn't that serious and getting frustrated over him just being a normal almost two year old. Yes, the terrible two's have started. Yes, he has been being more bratty than usual. Yes, he has been not just back talking but yelling back at me. But I feel like my response to that is making it worse. Its hard to focus on the positive when it feels like your entire world is falling down around you. But then at the end of the night, God shows me why I should and why it is worth it when my beautiful son looks up at me with those big brown eyes and tells me "I yuv you mommy. I ant kisses an ugs." He is my little miracle. Sent to me when I had given up hope of ever having a child. As hard as life gets I remember how hard I prayed to be able to have babies of my own when I thought I couldn't and I am so very grateful to God for giving me my baby and so thankful that He reminds me of this when I am so frustrated I could cry.